Where does it hurt?

Sometimes I wish you’d be brave enough to ask, where does it hurt?

It will not be as transparent as you make it to be

It is the soft knife in the grooves of routine

The repeated calls we make in the evening

Where we tolerate one another's beliefs

Cause sometimes it hurts darling more than it seems

I want to love so badly

Just so you know you are seen

But consequently, my body fades, my mind shatters, and my heart breaks

I’m used to sitting in a room, hearing all the critique

Learning about the multi-facet breakdown of what I believe

But identity is not just the beliefs we subscribe

Not the items we discard

Or the memories we receive

I want you to know it hurts when it isn’t seen

I like listening to the puns we make

Maybe even the silence in between

But it’s a fine line we’re crossing today

I’m not saying I’m perfect

I’ve done my fair share of prodding

Wondering how much it hurts

When I push you away

In my head, I say it’s not your fault

When I slam the door in your face

But part of me still wishes for you to ask

Not just take

I’m not your world

I’m not your toy

I’m not your joy

Because the pain is in my heart

The pain is in my eyes

The pain is in my veins

I feel like I’m repeating my life like it’s a buzzword, the sad part is the word is just: abuse.